Wendy Sue Knecht
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Don't Retire, Move Forward... ( I hate the "R" word!)  Published in NEXT AVENUE

8/23/2016

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Read MY Article in Forbes.com
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I Prefer to Move Forward, Not Retire....8 Ways to Get More Out of the Second Half of Life 

July 27, 2016

  • By Wendy Sue Knecht

Credit: Getty Images

There are many advantages to being an older worker or an older business owner. You’re smarter (“been there done that”) and can problem-solve a lot more quickly than your younger, more inexperienced self. So if your work gives you purpose and enjoyment, why “retire?”
And if you’re less than pleased with your current work, being older might give you the perfect out to leave and become involved with something that might be your genuine passion.
Personally, instead of the word “retire,” I prefer the phrase “moving forward.”
The Joys of Moving Forward 
Moving forward, I think, is a better description of the opportunity we have as older adults to capitalize on our experience, to contribute to the world and to live a vital life — hopefully a long and healthy one.
You don't have to “retire” in the literal sense. As C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

You don’t have to “retire” in the literal sense. You can reframe, re-energize and reboot! Remember, as C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
In fact, starting something new may just keep you young.
One of the great assets of getting older and launching a new venture is that your life doesn’t depend on it. Although the experience can be stressful, you know you’ll be OK, no matter what happens.
The most important thing, which becomes increasingly apparent as we age, is to make the best use of your time.
As someone who always has had a lot going on, with simultaneous family, career and volunteer endeavors, I’ve learned to make the most of every minute. Having the perspective of years has given me a good handle on keeping my priorities straight and making the most of my time.
8 Ways to Move Forward
Whether you’re considering pursuing a new business or hobby or just don’t want to retire, here are eight ways to move forward with ease and passion:
1. Do things that excite you. Somehow you always make time for them. And they’ll give you energy. You’ll always get more out of life and work when you’re energized.
2. Set new goals. This will keep you invigorated. Sometimes the most challenging goal ultimately becomes the most exciting one.
Have you ever gone out for a hike or a workout and felt you were so tired you didn’t think you could make it? But once you did it, even if you had to push yourself, you found you had much more energy than when you started? And you were so happy that you pushed yourself.
Enjoy the journey — and the satisfaction that comes with reaching a new goal.
3. Don’t set limitations for your life or your business. There’s no reason to succumb to some preconceived notion or someone telling you it’s time to slow down. Ignore any judgmental remarks or the idea that you have to “settle.”
Personally, I abhor being around people with this type of mindset. Setting limitations is just that… limiting.
Whenever anyone tries to tell me why I shouldn’t do something, my favorite response is: “That’s your limitation.” I learned that great retort from Diana Nyad, who, on her fifth attempt and at age 64, swam 110 miles from Cuba to the shores of Miami.
4. Let go of what (and who) is dragging you down. I am talking about so-called friendships with people who interfere with your moving forward. If you have any of these, it’s time to gently remove the emotionally draining relationships from your life. By doing so, you’ll create space for more important and rewarding relationships.
5. Just say “no.” One advantage of having lived a bit: knowing what you want and what you don’t. Saying “no” is a confidence builder and can be very liberating.
6. Exercise regularly. Getting your blood flowing will make you more creative and imaginative, aside from the obvious health benefits. And health truly is wealth; any other advice is moot if you don’t have it.
7. Travel frequently. Visiting new places gives you an appreciation for life and broadens your worldview (literally and figuratively), even if you’re only traveling to a nearby city. Traveling also opens up your imagination. The insights you gain will seep into all aspects of your life. One thing is for sure: you will be a more interesting person.
8. Take time to be alone. By taking one-on-one time for yourself, you’ll be able to filter out distractions and be more productive. Meditation is an excellent way to achieve this, but an hour walking alone can produce the same results. Taking time to “center” will help make sense of the chatter around you, allowing you to grab the greatest benefits out of life.
Here’s hoping you keep moving forward.


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A Little Time Apart Can Help Your Marriage!

8/3/2016

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New York Lifestyles Magazine
Keys to Maintaining a Healthy MarriageBy Wendy Knecht
"How can I miss you if you don’t ever leave?” I am not sure what country western song these lyrics came from, but the ring of truth is universal. Let’s face it. A little bit of absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, or at least one would hope that is the case.
As an international flight attendant, my life was all about coming and going — sometimes for a week or ten days at a time. It was hard to find that special someone, and I always thought it was my crazy lifestyle. But after meeting my husband at the innocent age of 45, I realize now that all of that coming and going, which was second nature to me, is also what is helping to keep our now 11-year marriage alive and exciting.
At the beginning of our marriage, before I hung up my wings, I was on a leave of absence from the airlines, but working a lot at QVC, in Philadelphia, hawking my designs and other company’s products as well. Meanwhile, my new husband was back in Los Angeles, going into his office daily, doing his doctor stuff, as he always did. Whenever I would ask him on the phone “What are you doing?” his snarky response was always, “Waiting for you to come home.” Yes, this did invoke guilt, even if he meant it jokingly. I knew he wasn’t exactly pining away for me, but I knew he wasn’t putting out much energy to make plans with his friends, as I would have been doing had I been the one at home.
Any absence seems like too much when a relationship is new, and the reunion is always full of sparks. When I went back to flying for a while before I quit, the away time seemed to be too much to bear for both of us. One of the reasons I quit is that I would just rather have been doing my traveling when I chose to, and I had too many other entrepreneurial interests that I wanted to spend my time on.
After I quit flying, we had tons of together time, which was fabulous. As time went by, as in any relationship, the newness and excitement wore away a bit, which is completely normal. So much can be said for just feeling comfortable and secure. It’s a wonderful feeling of knowing that your significant other is always there for you, and the comfort level makes you feel pretty smug. For me, it also made me a little nervous…
As much as I loved (and still love) spending time with my husband, I did realize that too much togetherness may not be the best thing for our marriage. For me, my many years of singledom had blessed me with many friends from many walks of life. My husband had friends too, lots of them. But men seem to be a little different, and it seems that unless a man is a real “guy’s guy,” they just don’t seem to put the energy out to cultivate friendships and get together like women do. I realized that it would be important for him to have significant friendships, and I encouraged him to develop these friendships. I used to laugh when someone would invite him to a baseball or hockey game, and he would call me to see ask permission. So sweet, but seriously? “Go and enjoy, of course, you don’t have to ask,” I always replied.
Finally, he’s seen the light, too. He has his hiking group on Saturday mornings, his poker group every other Tuesday, and loves his fishing and skiing expeditions out of town with the boys. I totally enjoy having my girl’s weekends away, traveling for business, or just taking a few days off and going to New York, alone. It’s good for our marriage and serves to make us both more interesting to each other. And when you go away, they really do miss you.
Yes, we take plenty of long weekends and incredible vacations together. But cultivating separate interests and having our time apart is what keeps our relationship fresh and exciting. Personally, I love the yin and the yang of having time apart coupled with intense time together. The time apart keeps the spark and mystery alive in our marriage, and a little longing adds a lot of appreciation.
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